things that annoy me about the gym

As someone who's now at the gym pretty frequently (and will no doubt be at the gym even more when she suddenly has several extra hours of free time in the morning), I have some beefs with my fellow exercisers. No doubt they have beefs with me too, but they don't necessarily have blogs, so nuts to them.

01. What's with wearing makeup to the gym? I come to the gym straight from work and I don't even have on as much makeup as these girls do. In fact, I try to remove it before I get all sweaty, because how is it possibly a plus to have mascara on while you're lifting five pound weights? Seriously. That can't be good for your skin, to have all that stuff getting into your pores. And I know they had time to remove it, because while they all seem to go to class in Victoria's Secret sweatpants, they don't go to class in hotpants or leggings and sneakers.

02. Gym couture. When did it become necessary to have fancy fancy clothes for the gym? I was just showing up in old t-shirts. Now I have a tanktop and yoga pants made out of microfiber or some nonsense, but that's not nearly as fancy as the clothes a lot of the girls wear. Coordinating, specially tailored to be aerodynamic, ergonomic bicycle shorts? And the best part is that they have ruffles on them and cost $50. Actually, I think my favorite part is the tiny tailored coordinating hoodies - why would you want to be more warm while you're kickboxing? And why do so many girls wear hats? It boggles my mind. Not that the men are much better, in their Underarmour and their wifebeaters.

03. People on cellphones. You can't take an hour out of your day to not answer the phone? Also, Women's Health told me that if you can talk while you're on the treadmill or the elliptical, you're not working hard enough. I don't need to hear your conversation about omg the party you, like, went to at that frat or whatever, and I wish your phone weren't turned up loud enough that I could hear the other half of your gossip circuit.

04. Men who look sideways at me when I go to the weights area to do squats or bench press. There's a reason I go to the gym at godawful hours of the morning before it's filled up with sweaty grunting guys. Sure, I don't lift a whole lot, but I'm not going to find a 60 pound barbell in the women's area with the yoga mats and the Bosus, so you just keep on keepin' on, men. I like my muscles too.

05. Aerobics classes where no one gets sweaty. What's the point of that, then?

06. When the attendant in the weight room decides that loud rap is the best thing to play. At least keep it at a volume that doesn't make my ears ring when I try to listen to my super classy Pointer Sisters/musicals/Bollywood workout mix.